Conservative Assembly Members Exposed

There's something very contrived about the way the Conservatives' website tries to portray Tory Assembly Members. The top line of each bio reeks of the sort of false chumminess more commonly heard on Saturday night TV.

Here's what they have to say about their current crop of AMs. I'm sure we can do better...

Glyn Davies
Tories say: Glyn provides the link between politics and rural Wales.
Blamerbell says: Glyn provides the link between politics and fantasy.

Mark Isherwood
Tories say: Mark brings a new meaning to the phrase 'hard work'.
Blamerbell says: Mark brings a new meaning to the phrase 'nice mustache'.

Laura Anne Jones
Tories say: Laura joined the Welsh Conservative Party in 1996 and from 2000 to 2002 was the Conservative Future area chairman for South Wales East.
Blamerbell says: Laura didn't have a proper job before getting elected.

David Melding
Tories say: David gives politicians a good name.
Blamerbell says: David gives politicians a tekkie name. Melding is computer jargon for a concurrent, object-oriented, dataflow, modular and fault-tolerant language.

Jonathan Morgan
Tories say: Jonathan boasts ability beyond his years.
Blamerbell says: Jonathan doesn't clean behind his ears.

Brynle Williams
Tories say: Brynle is one of those people who has made a name for himself organising a pressure group.
Blamerbell says: Brynle is one of those people who drives his tractor along country roads and refuses to pull over.

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posted by Blamerbell @ 9:10 am,

8 Comments:

At 9:55 am, Blogger hafod said...

Why does Mark "tash-tastic" Isherwood remind me of a 70s porn star?

Laura Jones - has she actually done anything in the past four years?

Mind you, the likes of David Davies (since going to Westminster in 2005) and William Graham haven't registered on the radar either.

Many of these AMs, not just the Tories, have portfolios and are meant to shadow Labour ministers but we hear nothing of substance from them.

The backbenchers should have their own campaigns and issues but we hear nothing from them either.

 
At 10:32 am, Blogger Glyn Davies AM said...

Do you remember the Frank Sinatra song about the ant that couldn't move a rubber tree plant? Or when Cassius Clay was given absolutely no hope of beating Sonny Liston. Or Sunderland playing the unbeatable Leeds in the FA Cup Final. Or when England were given nil chance of beating the Aussies in the current one-day final. One man's fantasy often turns out to be another man's acheivement. And then the doubters all have to hide their faces in shame.

 
At 10:38 am, Blogger Blamerbell said...

... are you saying Cardiff City are going to be promoted to the Premiership this season after all?

As for your remarks, Hafod, I honestly believe there exists a core group of instantly recognisable AMs within each party. Others aren't so prominent.

Who, for example, can even tell the difference between Janet and Jocelyn Davies, let alone what their briefs are?

 
At 5:58 pm, Blogger Glyn Davies AM said...

Blamerbell, I have great difficulty in resisting the obvious comment on your last sentence.

As it happens ,I think Janet and Joclyn are two of the most intellectually rigourous AMs in the Assembly. Both are widely respected by their fellow AMs.

 
At 11:17 pm, Blogger blodyn said...

As it happens ,I think Janet and Joclyn are two of the most intellectually rigourous AMs in the Assembly. Both are widely respected by their fellow AM's'

Your comments may be true- but not many of the electorate know who they are. That's a different point entirely.

 
At 10:17 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you (Glyn) find yourself in the Assembly after May. I am not a Conservative supporter but people of your honesty and integrity are much needed.

 
At 10:46 am, Blogger ianjamesjohnson said...

I'm sure the differences between Janet and Jocelyn Davies will become much more obvious after the election...when only Jocelyn will be there!

 
At 1:36 pm, Blogger Blamerbell said...

Glyn, I think Blodyn gets the right end of the stick. I wasn't remarking on their ability, rather their *recognisability*.

Maybe they should get blogging, that could help:)

 

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