The Blamers 2007 - A star-bereft award ceremony
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The more prescient among you may have come across whispers in some far-flung corner of the internet hinting that this blog will soon be following Tony Blair into retirement. These whispers have some truth, because I started them. (As Peter Black writes today, why would cheeky Wales on Sunday Journalist Matt Withers find his own stories when he can just pinch them from someone else?)
More on that later. In the meantime, I shall press on with my end of year political awards. Of course, it's not the end of the year and on current form no politician really deserves an award, but now is my last chance.
Regular readers will know that this blog has been enriched over the past eight months by references to certain characters who have very kindly allowed me to reduce their incredibly complex personalities to simple stereotypes. Either that, or they've been too stupid or lazy to notice:)
So, I would like to present The Blamers 2007. A pair of my crusty briefs will be finding its way to the lucky winners, with grateful thanks from Wales' first and only blogespondent.
Heinz Ketchup Award for Best Source: Jonathan Morgan
After taking part in my Honest John experiment, Tory golden boy Jonathan Morgan really got into blogging. So much so, in fact, that he began to email me with other feature ideas. Would I like to start an item about 'hilarious' anecdotes from the campaign trail? JM's own offering went something like this:
"Towards the end of the discussion a man stood up and introduced himself as being from Germany. As a pro European I have no problem with this although he proceeded to lecture us on the environmental damage caused by war, and how the illegal Iraq war had been a disaster... Being lectured by a German on international conflict is a bit like being lecture by King Herod on 1st century AD methods of childcare!"
Jonathan, that's why I'm the journalist and you're the politician. Let's keep it that way.
Marmite Award for Splitting the Audience: Huw Lewis
You either love him or hate him, it seems. I need only mention his name and you will split into your various tribal camps, either extolling his virtues or hoping to wipe your behinds with his political career. I do hope he becomes First Minister one day, because I suspect a medieval battle will break out on the streets of Cardiff.
Poor Huw. I reckon what he needs is a Red-Green coalition and a great big hug from Mohammad Ashgar. They have more in common than you might think.
Carol Voredman Award for Services to Spelling: Glyn Davies
This was a close one, because Alun Cairns' crap spelling has taken on an aquatic theme of late, what with Alex Salmon AND Salmon Rushdie in the news recently. But Glyn still pips it for his 'bulldozer' approach to blogging and the English language generally, which always makes for an entertaining read.
Oxfam Award for Buying the Ties Most People Wouldn't Even Use to Hang Themselves: Peter Black
Proof that there's nothing geeky about being a blogger.
British Heart Foundation Award for Buying the Scarves Most People Wouldn't Even Use to Hang Themselves: Helen Mary Jones
It took me a long time before plucking up the courage to take the piss out of HMJ for her loyalty to pashminas. I genuinely thought she had some sort of hideous neck disfigurement and therefore it would be in poor taste to make jokes at her expense.
Turns out she just happens to really like scarves, which is to be admired as scarf-wearing can sometimes be a hazardous activity.
Armitage Shanks Award for Taking all the Shit: Rhodri Glyn Thomas
Runner-up: Carl Sargeant
By April, I considered this blog to be doing reasonably well. I made absolutely no attempt to remain anonymous and for obvious reasons, most people in Plaid Cymru knew who was behind the briefs. I was shocked, therefore, to discover that in the run up to the election Rhodri Glyn Thomas had been probing the BBC's political editor to find out the identity of the 'diawl' who continually mocked him on the internet. Perhaps if he spent less time eating buffet lunches he'd have been able to work it out himself:)
Joseph Goebbels Award for Frank and Open debate: Leighton Andrews
You lot are a volatile bunch, and no matter what I write, someone usually likes to take offence. That's why I've steered clear of taking on all of you en masse. You are most dangerous when you are united (even if you do write an awful lot of rubbish in the comments sometimes!). Unfortunately, nobody told Leighton Andrews (and if they did, he pressed on anyway). The result? This little ding dong. Hopefully the blogosphere has emerged all the stronger for it. Group hug.
Just William Award for Services to Short Trousers: Alun Cairns
Runner-up: Ioan Bellin
According to his Facebook page, the Conservatives' new baby-faced Education spokesman has been out clubbing twice this week AND he's been frolicking with the rah-rahs in the annual Hunt Ball. Despite that, he still gets asked for I.D. when trying to buy bottles of Pimm's for the gymkhana and he's never been allowed onto the scariest rollercoasters at Alton Towers.
Nevertheless, Alun continues to punch above his weight in the assembly, if only because he weighs less than Eleanor Burnham's make-up bag.
And that concludes The Blamers 2007. No politicians were harmed in the making of this blog entry, though certain egos have again taken a bit of a beating:)
posted by Blamerbell @ 6:20 pm,
- At 9:32 pm, Glyn Davies said...
What a waist. The BBC have a lot to answer for if they have snatched Wales brightest and dimmed the bightest star of the Welsh blogosphere. You should see my spelling is Welsh - or knot.
- At 10:17 pm, Peter Black said...
Surely the BBC can make an exception for you just so that we can keep this excellent blog going.
- At 10:24 pm, Valleys Mam said...
Come on strike out for free speech - never burn bridges, bras breeches or Briefs
It was your example and encouragement that kept me going when I first put my delicate high heeled peep toed jimmy shoo into this male world.
- At 11:30 pm, said...
So this blog is closing down .... OK .... I really can't stand that dreadful old fossil Leanne Wood ... just felt I needed to say that before you went off air.
- At 11:32 pm, Blamerbell said...
Cheers guys. But there will be plenty of time for all that when I compose a long and tortuous goodbye post.
In the meantime I want feedback and more suggestions for awards...
- At 11:51 pm, said...
perhaps you could get that Serbian guy ... you know the one who really deserved the award to take over this blog.
I'd give Luke Young an award for being the only honest Labour blogger and Ordovicious should walk the award for being the most bloody touchy.
God I hate the BBC.
- At 11:53 pm, said...
Most entertaining comments - johnny foreigner
Best anonymous comments - anonymous
- At 12:11 am, said...
Blamers - mwaah
- At 12:16 am, Ordovicius said...
and Ordovicious should walk the award for being the most bloody touchy.
Fuck off, Sockpuppet
- At 10:32 am, said...
Pants said: "So, I would like to present The Blamers 2007. A pair of my crusty briefs will be finding its way to the lucky winners, with grateful thanks from Wales' first and only blogespondent."
Who's that then chief? cos it aint you!
- At 10:45 am, Blamerbell said...
- At 11:39 am, said...
Not sure about awards, you can feel this lot here are frothing at the mouth for the next bit of political bones to get their teeth into.
This week of all weeks. So much happening. What about Brown's threat to have a snap election? Where would any coalition in wales be if that happens?
- At 11:42 am, Christopher Glamorgan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
- At 11:44 am, Christopher Glamorgan said...
That told him Blamers!
Have just noticed that Peter Black has now changed a quote on his blog from Blamerbell to Ciaran Jenkins.
Obviously, we all know your real name and mention of it has been everywhere in recent weeks. However, it's almost as if he has just 'named' you, as a proud father would name a son - a touching moment for us all to cherish, I think :>D
P.S. Note to Mrs Black - Peter may not wear the same one all the time, like Rhodri, but they still need cutting up.
- At 2:55 pm, said...
Charity Shop Style Award
Rhodri Morgan - also thanks for donating an unused steam iron to oxfam
- At 5:40 pm, cleckanndra said...
What d'you mean you're giving up.
And say more about the BBC.
This is free speech we're talking about here.
There's not an individual or organisation alive (if you get my drift) which has the right to put the frighteners on.
Sod the spoilers (and their addled, compromised, values).
This sort of decision strengthens the forces of negativism, and undermines courage.
Think again - I urge you - for the sake of all that is positive.
You're either part of the cure or part of the rot. You know that!!
- At 8:48 pm, Peter Black said...
Actually Christopher Glamorgan I didnt change the credit for the quote, I have just put it on and credited it to the author by name.
Mrs Black has given up trying to influence my ties. She even buys some of them for me nowadays. They are the more sober ones!
- At 9:25 pm, Luke Young said...
Anon 11.51 PM - cheers for that but I'm sure all my fellow Labour bloggers tell the truth as they see it :)
P.s. happy to say I've never got on wrong side of Ordovicious yet - you cant really blame him for defending himself can you?
- At 9:43 am, Christopher Glamorgan said...
Sorry Peter - that's what I meant to say. On the subject of ties, at least you alternate yours, whereas Rhodri wears the same one all the time - dirty boy! :>D